League News and Views
The week got off to rather a slow start with a lack luster dwarf versus Crustie match-up. A battle of the tin cans, except for the moment when Ug killed Raider player ClawAxe, using his patented can-opener technique, there just wasn't a lot of excitement in watching the veteran Raiders outscore the novice Claws three to one. Next the Zomba wiped the Moonglade Unicorns all over the pitch, injuring six and killing one. The elves proved their true grit, however, and held on to their early lead, and fighting their way up past their opponents to take fifth place in the standings.
In the third game of the week, the previously undefeated Leapers were tripped up at last. The frenzied goblin blitzers pushed them all over the field, while the rest of the Biterz grabbed their long legs by the ankles and refused to let go until they had whacked them unconscious. With half the their opponents in the injury boxes, the Biterz swept the ball down the field almost unopposed to score the winning goal.
Finally the seraph of the Retribution killed Dark Wind star Snatz, only to have the Dark Wind administer a retribution of their own. Although the Seraph team scored three unanswered goals, it was hardly an uncontested victory -- the Dark Wind ogre rookie Throg proved his worth by eliminating three of his feathered opponents, which in addition to the hit by his teammate Gorlin, vaulted the Dark Wind into top slot for kills this season, surpassing the previously tied for top place Raiders and and Biterz.Most Valuable Player of Week Five:
Throg of the Dark Wind
Most Dangerous Player of Week Five:
Throg of the Dark Wind
Best Defensive Team: Lizardale Leapers
Least Damaged Team: The Crimson Claws
Deadliest Team: The Biterz
X's and O's
Technical Ins and Outs
This week we asked XOBB Commissioner Otlex the Omniscient what his plans for next season are.
"But we sure are campaigning for a season three to happen, don't ever doubt that. This is the greatest sport ever invented and we want to keep bringing a weekly dose of blood, carnage and pigbladder chasing action to the Xenia area. To not celebrate the true welcoming spirit of this town would be some kinda crime."
The League coaches were also invited to comment.
Ritcher R. Rat of the Biterz: "Oh, yeah, you can count on us for any good frey. If we aren't gunna be top of the league next season, you can at least bet we'll be underfoot and ripping your belly open. And I'm not so sure we won't be on the top. We goblins got what you might call 'hidden talants'."
Coach Flyswatter of the Dark Wind: "If our purpose was to win games the answer would be obvious, but since our priorities are quite otherwise, it's a question of where the best opportunities can be found. I trust you understand my meaning. Besides, we've never faced seraph before, and might be looking to find a venue that doesn't involve picking quite so many feathers out of our uniforms. Once those fluffy undercoats of theirs get drenched in blood they stick to everything."
Coach Irean Starflower of the Moonglade Unicorns: "I fear I lack the experience of my third cousin twice removed Loama Mist, and I am unsure of my future in the sport. But don't think that the eldar race will flee from the carnage. In woodland, or on the Blood Bowl pitch, it makes no difference: none shall oppose us unanswered."
Join the Retribution: we guarentee spendid posthumous benifits in the afterlife of your choice!
We are sending 'round a petition to Otlex asking for a special Skippy versus Throg benefit match up. To add your name to the list of people dying to see this thrilling tree-slayer versus seraph-slayer action please call 8XX-GOL-IATH.
Swimming pool construction experts are asked to drop by the Crustie dressing room to disscuss estimates for an important addition to their locker-room fascilities.
The Moonglade Unicorns are looking for a new supplier of bandages, antiseptic ointments and other medical supplies. Please contact Irean Starflower.